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Note to football fans, of Liverpool and Manchester United in particular.

And the ones in Ireland in particular.

Football is not a matter of life and death or more than that, whatever Shankly said. It’s a game played by 22 wusses wearing shorts who want model girlfriends so they can get more money out of Hello Magazine for those At Home With shoots that I have to avoid when I am at the hairdresser.

I can go 3 whole days without caring that one lot of overpaid red clad idiots played another lot of overpaid red clad idiots in a grudge match that’s played out in metaphorical form all over the country.  So yeah, I got to today without knowing that Liverpool won and the only reason I cared is that the Liverpool fans got up my nose, metaphorically speaking

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